Times; Their a changin!

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've written.  Yowza.  Ok, so A LOT has changed.  To be honest, I think I'm just gonna lay the new bio down.

Ok, so I'm Serenity, wife of Aaron, mother of Braeden (4 in January) and Reese (2 in January) and a hard working, blood, sweat, and tears kinda deal, housewife.  Wow, Desperate Housewives has totally changed my view of that word.  Ok, call me a homemaker.  I'm 25 and have been married for 5 years! 

Now that that's out of the way, most of you know that Aaron and I moved out of our house and into my mom's house.  We felt we were drowning in debt and it wasn't enough for us to just break even, we wanted to pay it off.  So after making some changes, and still not making the progress we wanted to, we moved into my mom's house.  She and my step-dad live in Oklahoma while he works, but are holding on to this place so when he retires again, they can just move on home.  It helps them because we pay all utilities, so that saves them money since they kept everything on at the house so they could stay here when they came home.  It's also good for them to have someone out here keeping an eye on things and keeping everything kept up. 

We put our house up for rent and make a little extra off of that other than our house payment.  Unfortunately, around the same time we moved, Aaron's overtime became little to none, and we still have trouble paying extra on stuff.  For a while, I kind of had a "woe is me" attitude about it thinking we'd never get out of debt.  Then I decided to make it happen.  I picked our smallest debt, a $500 store credit card, and decided to attack.  I mean I was going at this thing like a psycho with a machete.  I set a 3 month goal in which I would get this paid off and canceled and took up odd jobs to knock it out.  Anytime we had extra money, it went to this card.  I was a bit worried that I wouldn't make my 3 month goal, but I did!  By November I had paid off and canceled our first credit card.  The Dave Ramsey debt snowball was rolling!  Next I set a goal to pay off a $210 family loan (shhhh, don't tell Dave) by New Years.  I was able to give $210 in cash to our debtor!  Another one bites the dust!  Now I am currently working on paying off our $1000 credit card.  It's been a struggle, especially now with the holidays, but we're getting there.  I'm gonna say I want to have that one paid off by April.  I have about $760 left on it.

The debt snowball may be rolling, but that doesn't mean that sometimes it doesn't get stuck on a bump.  I have gotten a lot more frugal with money, but I still do face temptations.  Temptation to get fast food, go out to eat, buy this or that.  It's a constant struggle and I don't even want to know how much debt I'd have paid off if I didn't succumb to the temptations. 

I decided to go shopping on black Friday with a friend.  I know, we're crazy.  I went with a plan of what I wanted to buy, and had already checked the store papers to find by best deals.  I'll admit, some of the things I didn't NEED exactly.  But at the end of the day I'd gotten Reesey some clothes, and me a comforter set for our room.  I didn't have much money to use, and I really wanted to cash in on those sales, so I brought my credit card.  Yes, the one I was trying to pay off.  I had $180 available and was determined to use every last cent.  I get to the register, and guess what?  It declined.  It had been so long since I'd used it, that without realizing it, it had expired in May!  Wow.  That was my first shop of the day, so I used my debit card and decided that would probably be about all the shopping I was gonna get done.  I did get some clothes from JC Penny, but that was a gift for Reesey from my mom. 

Things have really changed, my focus aside from God and my family, is now being smart with money.  Learning to be frugal and the ideal homemaker, minus the apron.  I just can't seem to get myself to wear an apron.  I am learning how to make my own foods, household cleaners, etc, etc.  So expect a lot more posts from me revolving around typical homemaker topics.

Media:God - You in?

Today my Sunday School lesson (which I'll admit I didn't study for) was about our media usage.  Interesting that this is the very area in which I've been convicted about this week...  In a world of TV, DVD, cell phones that do all but wash your car, radio, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, even Blogger, we spend, er, waste so much time and then when asked to do something we don't feel like doing, such as read our Bible and pray, we simply say, "I'm way too busy and can't seem to find the time."  We blame it on everything.  Kids, jobs, housework, school, spouses! and even go as far as to blame fatigue.  The real culprit?  Media induced laziness and a sinners heart.  So now what? 

If I were to ask you to give up your least favorite show that you mindlessly watch (think Spongebob as one example), to make time to read the Bible and pray instead it would be NO problem I'm sure.  What if I ask you to give up your absolute favorite show?  Or Farmville?  Or Facebook chat with the bestie? to pray instead???  That's a bit tougher, huh?  So lucky for you, I'm not going to ask you to do either.  Now what God asks of you is a whole different story, and maybe this challenge will help you to know what God is asking you to do.

I challenged my youth girls to spend equal the amount of time that they spend on media per day, on God.  I also challenged them to replace their secular music with UPLIFTING Christian music (reminder, not all "Christian" music is uplifting.  Focus on the lyrics to decide) for at least a week and see what God does in their lives.  This is as much a challenge for me as them, and even you.  Laziness and sin doesn't just stay within our teenagers, you know.  So basically, if you want to watch your favorite show that lasts an hour long, then you should be focusing on God for at least an hour.  Say, afterward, you decide to get on Facebook for a half hour, that's another half hour with God.  How much time do you spend playing Farmville a day?  No, really, don't lie.  Wow, so if you spent that three and a half hours on God instead of on Farmville, what could He tell you in that time?  Is it that much of a stretch to say that you use five hours a day on some sort of media?  I bet that you're sitting there thinking, "ok, so you want me to MATCH that time with time in prayer and in scripture?  That's TEN hours of my day!  I'll never get any sleep!  And forget a job!"  Here's my question, if this challenge seems like a stretch for you, what does that tell you about your life?

I cannot even begin to guess the things God will speak to me about in this next week.  I know what I plan to talk to Him about though, so that's a good start.  When I think about the possible ways this plan can affect my life, I see a lot of wonderful things.  Let's just see what I expect in my own life:
1. My media usage and dependency will go WAY down.
2. My productiveness will go WAY up.
3. My relationship with God will mature and I'll gain new sense of direction.
4. My children, husband, and friends will see a change in me.
5. I'll learn that I can live without a cell phone in my pocket every moment of every day.
6. By listening only to uplifting music I won't have to worry about what my kids may hear, what gets stuck in my head, or how I'll feel.
7. I'll learn more scripture and more about God in general and be ready to share about Him.
8. Since so much of my time will be focused on God, then the times I'm not actively praying or reading my bible, when I'm doing daily activities, my thoughts will still be on Him. 
9. I'll realize just how much time I waste daily when I'm tracking the numbers and make serious changes that will affect not only my week, but my lifestyle.

There are so many more possibilities that I haven't even considered.  I can't wait to report back at the end of the week to share.  I invite, even beg you to join in this challenge.  So I guess this means now that I've got an hour to spend focusing solely on God.  Oh, and don't expect to get away with rolling all of your media usage together by watching TV while you Facebook, talking on your cell phone and playing Farmville in another window all in one hour.  See you next week!

** "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" **

I Wanna be Loved Like That

One of my favorite songs of all time is "I Wanna be Loved Like That" by Shenandoah.  Seriously, check it out, beautiful song. 

I don't know much about my grandparents relationship at the beginning.  I just know what it was like to witness it and hear about it in the short amount of time I had with them.  You didn't have to know the history to know that my Grandpa loved Nana with all his heart, or that Nana fully trusted Grandpa and felt safe with him.

I've always felt, or maybe just hoped, that my relationship with Aaron is like my grandparents relationship.  The were married for 50 years before my grandpa died.  He was holding on to life to make sure they got that 50 years together.  From my perception, Nana had quite a bit of spunk for such a little woman!  Kinda reminds me of someone, though she was far more petite than I am, and I'm sure Aaron wouldn't call me "spunky" exactly...  Grandpa always struck me as being so strong and faithful. 

When I picture Aaron and I after 50 years of marriage I can't help but see my grandparents.  I don't know if it's because that's what we are, or just what I want us to be.  I want our love for each other to be obvious in the little things.  I know that the only way that can happen is if we push through any fights, or worldly ideas of what marriage is or should be. 

My family's told Aaron that Grandpa would have liked him.  I think that's because they are alike in some ways.  I only wish Grandpa had gotten to meet Aaron.  I wish he could have seen that I'm happy with a good man and amazing kids.  Grandpa died when I was 15.  I wish before he went home that I spent more time with him.  I was too busy being a "cool" teenager that I missed the last few years of his life.  He and I were always so close and I missed an opportunity to get to know him better.

I didn't make the same mistake with Nana.  I tried as often as I could to see her, of course I still wish it had been more.  She died in October 2007.  I have a picture of her holding my sweet baby Braeden when he was only a few weeks old.  I'm so glad she got to meet him.  I wish she could have met Reesey.  I'm sure she'd have been just as much a sucker for those dark brown eyes like the rest of the world. 

The hardest part about my Nana passing was that she, knowing how close I was to my Grandpa, never felt she measured up.  I wish I'd have made more effort to tell her I loved her just as much, and that though Grandpa and I were close, she and I had an amazing relationship.  I loved getting to talk to her as an adult and hear her take on life and hear her advice to me.  Maybe it was those conversations that gave me a great look into my grandparents love and marriage.  So yes, I do hope I can not only be loved like that, but love like that.

Aaron, bear with me when I'm being, well, "spunky" to nicely put it.  You are my strong and ever faithful husband.  We'll see our 50 years and Jesus, whichever comes first.  I love you.

Oh yeah, by the way...

2 blogs in one day!  Wow!  I promise, this will not be the norm.  I caught myself worrying that my "spiritual high" would fade away in time and realized that it doesn't have to.  I don't have to fall away from God.  There's going to be days that I'm on fire for God and want all I can get and have faith that can move mountains AND have love, but there's going to be days when, well, lets just say I'm not so enthusiastic.  The test of salvation (wow, I just realized how easy the word salvation can turn into salivation) is in those not so enthusiastic days.  Making a conscious decision to honor God in everything is easy when I've just come home from a ladies retreat where all there was to focus on was God, but the real world isn't a womens retreat.  It's full of temptation and doubt and fear.  If we want to stay close to God, we have to change our lifestyle to be more Christ-centered.  What good would it do me to sit and watch TV all day and never read my Bible?  Or to gossip about a "friend" instead of pray for them?  Or yell at my kids and get frustrated because of their disobedience instead of teaching them to obey?  If I go back to the way I did things before, my distance from God will become very far in a very small amount of time.  Take every thought captive.  If you aren't sure an action is sinful, pray about it and WAIT for the answer.  So what things in your life distract you from Him?  What are you going to do about it?  Remember, God is not interested in a compromise.  He wants your obedience and focus.

What do you get when you put 70 Christian ladies together for a weekend to learn about God?

So this weekend my church had a ladies retreat.  We stayed at the most gorgeous lodge in Danbury (yes, Danbury.  Who knew?) and stayed Friday and Saturday nights.  The subject was about our spiritual gifts God's equipped us with.  It's funny how you can hear something your whole life and never really realize how true/deep/important it is.  I've always known that everyone has spiritual gifts.  For me, when I think spiritual gifts I think of 1 Corinthians 14 and the gifts listed in that chapter.  Then I pretty much give up on figuring out mine because the things listed in this chapter don't fit me at all!  How can I apply something so old to myself now?  Well, we did a 'spiritual gift test' where you score statements 1-5, 1 being that you least agree, 5 being that you most agree.  Unfortunately we were told to try not to use number 3.  Ugh.  So after answering 108 questions, I realized that my spiritual gift is mercy.  Hmm, sounds about right honestly.  There were other gifts such as teaching, evangelising, encouraging, etc.  I had to wonder; teaching Sunday school, would that be the gift of teaching, or mercy?  Or both??  So, what else did I learn?  I learned that just because I wasn't gifted at evangelising, doesn't mean I'm a failure as a Christian, or not as good as so-and-so, That just wasn't my gift.  That being said though, just because it's not my gift doesn't mean I shouldn't try to grow in that area.  Or in the other areas in which are not my predominant gifts.  But I shouldn't try so hard to grow in other areas that I neglect or belittle the gift God HAS given me because it's "not enough". 

I learned that I am truly at home in my church and that I love the people I worship with.  But that to say I love everyone and really mean it, I had to LOVE EVERYONE.  I had to let go of past offenses, and even make amends, before I could really be all God has called me for in my church.  It was hard to admit my sin to a fellow Christian.  I was afraid to hurt this person.  I realized that my offense to them was started by a tiny seed of doubt and insecurity, and I fueled the fire until it became sinfully all consuming.  I had so much bitterness toward this person for reasons that weren't true, that this person didn't deserve, that the only way I could right things was to confess my sin to myself, to God, and to this person, and then to ask forgiveness.  As I did this, I cried and felt a weight lift off of my shoulders and not only was the bitterness and self-inflicted pain removed, it was replaced with love and admiration. 

No wonder I didn't feel right with God.  How can you be close to God and still hold a grudge?  You can't.  I'm excited to see what happens now that I've repented and turned from that sin and turned to God.  So what happens when you put 70 Christian ladies together for a weekend to learn about God?  A spiritual growth spurt.

Please carefully read through 1 Corinthians 13 and ask yourself if there's anyone you don't love the way God intended you to.

The mob needs pies to take to their zoo to find their lost cow! Oh my!

To all of my friends who play the various obnoxious facebook games. I love you all and remember I don't have to like everything about you to love you. But I'm getting alot of different requests from people wanting me to help barnraise their pies and find their lost mafia. So I just wanted to say that the only reason my name shows up in farmville, etc., at all, is because my mom asks me to join and threatens my life if I hesitate. She pulls the "I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it" line, which wouldn't normally scare me but she gets specific on just HOW.  Charles Manson ain't got nothin on my mother! So please stop sending me 5000 requests a day! P.S.- I really DO love you! Except for you, it's just tolerance for you...

*disclaimer- I'm kidding, my mother is in no way comparable to Charles Manson.  She's a great mommy and I'm fine with helping her with her farmville, etc., things, and she has never threatened my life (well, not because of games anyhow).

Ohhh, I get it now!!! Crap.

Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight has undoubtedly heard that "the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose", and it's probably scared the mess out of them as it did me.  I always thought that meant that your body realized it was at a good weight and metabolism, and other junk all worked together to make it difficult to shed those last few pounds.  Well, I'm here to share the great news!  That's not the case at all!  The battle of the last 10 lbs is all about self-sabotage.  You get into a comfort zone and realize that you're ok at this size, yet deep down you really want to lose a few more.  However, being in this comfort zone you give in a little more often to what should be occassional treats, and you just can't seem to make yourself behave to lose that last 10 lbs.

Anytime people hear that I'm trying to lose weight they freak out like I'm aiming to be as skinny as an anorexic.  No, but I do want to feel comfortable with my body in my clothes.  And I may be in a healthy weight zone right now but if I don't lose or at least maintain, I'll end up overweight.  I'd rather lose the dreaded last 10 lbs slowly than easily lose the first 10 of a 50 lb journey. 

So for me, I've been going back and forth.  I want to get down to 110 (thus affording me a splurge and weight gain without panic), but ever since I hit 119, I can't stay focused on weight loss.  I got down to 117 one week and this week I'm back up to 120!  BUT I'M SO CLOSE!!!!  I blame it on work.  I blame it on being busy or out of the house.  I blame it on the kids, and when that doesn't work I'll even try blaming it on the cat!  (So stinkin tasty!)  I blame it on the weather because I can't go out and run.  So, I have a treadmill now.  And ear plugs.  And I'm so busy at work I don't have time to munch.  And I quit keeping soda's at home (though the next step is to remove them from Brazoria county).  So why can't I lose the last 10 lbs????  NO FREAKING SELF CONTROL!!!!  So, here's my newest plan:  no soda's (from anywhere) until I lose the last 10 lbs.  At least walk on the treadmill 30 minutes a day until I lose the last 10 lbs.  And no treats such as ice cream and all that fun stuff until I lose THE LAST 10 LBS!

"So are you serene?"

I work as a waitress at a mexican food restaurant, and given that my name is Serenity, one question I get on a daily basis is, "are you serene?" What do you say to that? "Nope, I'm all drama, dude!" Or with arrogance I could always just say "yes". If only these people knew. It's almost hard not to go off on them sometimes. "I woke up at 6 a.m. to a 3 year old knocking at his bedroom door, thus waking his 1 year old brother, thus making the mere IDEA of going back to sleep a total impossibility, then I changed dirty diapers, broke up sibling rivalries that rival any world war, washed 6 loads of laundry (only 6 more to go, yay!), played "what's that in the baby's mouth" and lost when whatever it was got swallowed. Then as soon as my husband gets home I give him a quick kiss on my way out the door to work where I got asked 5 times if I'm serene! I haven't even gotten a chance to pee in peace today, much less have serenity emanating out from myself. But usually, I just smile and say, "I like to think so, but I'm sure my husband disagrees."

No, my life isn't all that bad. Sometimes the chaos is alot of fun. I'm, as you've probably already guessed, Serenity. I'm 24, I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 5 years, and we have 2 little boys. Braeden is 3, Reese is 1. I do stay home with the kids during the day, and work at night after my husband gets home. I also teach the junior high and high school youth girls sunday school class at my church. I enjoy all that I do, but just like anyone, I can get burned out pretty easily. Some days I'm just down feeling like all I ever do is stay home with the kids or go to work. I complain alot about being tired and stressed (and rightly so if you ask me) but I do see the blessings and beauty that my family is. It's all a gift from God. He planned everything perfectly. I can't imagine a better man for me than the one God's given me, and we do have the cutest, silliest little boys in the world. We're trying to raise them up to be responsible people and love God so it's important that I try to be as serene as possible. That only comes from trusting in God and being aware and thankful of his blessings.

My sister in law started a blog similar to this today. Call me a copy cat if you'd like, but I'd like to refer to it as inspiration. I've always wanted to try to blog but didn't want to sound whiny or arrogant, but you know what? I don't really care. This blog is for me to get a chance to write down the good, the bad, and the ugly, and if you wanna hang on for the ride, be my guest! Just know that I go fast, and sometimes it's a bumpy road, on that path to serenity.