Oh yeah, by the way...

2 blogs in one day!  Wow!  I promise, this will not be the norm.  I caught myself worrying that my "spiritual high" would fade away in time and realized that it doesn't have to.  I don't have to fall away from God.  There's going to be days that I'm on fire for God and want all I can get and have faith that can move mountains AND have love, but there's going to be days when, well, lets just say I'm not so enthusiastic.  The test of salvation (wow, I just realized how easy the word salvation can turn into salivation) is in those not so enthusiastic days.  Making a conscious decision to honor God in everything is easy when I've just come home from a ladies retreat where all there was to focus on was God, but the real world isn't a womens retreat.  It's full of temptation and doubt and fear.  If we want to stay close to God, we have to change our lifestyle to be more Christ-centered.  What good would it do me to sit and watch TV all day and never read my Bible?  Or to gossip about a "friend" instead of pray for them?  Or yell at my kids and get frustrated because of their disobedience instead of teaching them to obey?  If I go back to the way I did things before, my distance from God will become very far in a very small amount of time.  Take every thought captive.  If you aren't sure an action is sinful, pray about it and WAIT for the answer.  So what things in your life distract you from Him?  What are you going to do about it?  Remember, God is not interested in a compromise.  He wants your obedience and focus.

What do you get when you put 70 Christian ladies together for a weekend to learn about God?

So this weekend my church had a ladies retreat.  We stayed at the most gorgeous lodge in Danbury (yes, Danbury.  Who knew?) and stayed Friday and Saturday nights.  The subject was about our spiritual gifts God's equipped us with.  It's funny how you can hear something your whole life and never really realize how true/deep/important it is.  I've always known that everyone has spiritual gifts.  For me, when I think spiritual gifts I think of 1 Corinthians 14 and the gifts listed in that chapter.  Then I pretty much give up on figuring out mine because the things listed in this chapter don't fit me at all!  How can I apply something so old to myself now?  Well, we did a 'spiritual gift test' where you score statements 1-5, 1 being that you least agree, 5 being that you most agree.  Unfortunately we were told to try not to use number 3.  Ugh.  So after answering 108 questions, I realized that my spiritual gift is mercy.  Hmm, sounds about right honestly.  There were other gifts such as teaching, evangelising, encouraging, etc.  I had to wonder; teaching Sunday school, would that be the gift of teaching, or mercy?  Or both??  So, what else did I learn?  I learned that just because I wasn't gifted at evangelising, doesn't mean I'm a failure as a Christian, or not as good as so-and-so, That just wasn't my gift.  That being said though, just because it's not my gift doesn't mean I shouldn't try to grow in that area.  Or in the other areas in which are not my predominant gifts.  But I shouldn't try so hard to grow in other areas that I neglect or belittle the gift God HAS given me because it's "not enough". 

I learned that I am truly at home in my church and that I love the people I worship with.  But that to say I love everyone and really mean it, I had to LOVE EVERYONE.  I had to let go of past offenses, and even make amends, before I could really be all God has called me for in my church.  It was hard to admit my sin to a fellow Christian.  I was afraid to hurt this person.  I realized that my offense to them was started by a tiny seed of doubt and insecurity, and I fueled the fire until it became sinfully all consuming.  I had so much bitterness toward this person for reasons that weren't true, that this person didn't deserve, that the only way I could right things was to confess my sin to myself, to God, and to this person, and then to ask forgiveness.  As I did this, I cried and felt a weight lift off of my shoulders and not only was the bitterness and self-inflicted pain removed, it was replaced with love and admiration. 

No wonder I didn't feel right with God.  How can you be close to God and still hold a grudge?  You can't.  I'm excited to see what happens now that I've repented and turned from that sin and turned to God.  So what happens when you put 70 Christian ladies together for a weekend to learn about God?  A spiritual growth spurt.

Please carefully read through 1 Corinthians 13 and ask yourself if there's anyone you don't love the way God intended you to.

The mob needs pies to take to their zoo to find their lost cow! Oh my!

To all of my friends who play the various obnoxious facebook games. I love you all and remember I don't have to like everything about you to love you. But I'm getting alot of different requests from people wanting me to help barnraise their pies and find their lost mafia. So I just wanted to say that the only reason my name shows up in farmville, etc., at all, is because my mom asks me to join and threatens my life if I hesitate. She pulls the "I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it" line, which wouldn't normally scare me but she gets specific on just HOW.  Charles Manson ain't got nothin on my mother! So please stop sending me 5000 requests a day! P.S.- I really DO love you! Except for you, it's just tolerance for you...

*disclaimer- I'm kidding, my mother is in no way comparable to Charles Manson.  She's a great mommy and I'm fine with helping her with her farmville, etc., things, and she has never threatened my life (well, not because of games anyhow).

Ohhh, I get it now!!! Crap.

Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight has undoubtedly heard that "the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose", and it's probably scared the mess out of them as it did me.  I always thought that meant that your body realized it was at a good weight and metabolism, and other junk all worked together to make it difficult to shed those last few pounds.  Well, I'm here to share the great news!  That's not the case at all!  The battle of the last 10 lbs is all about self-sabotage.  You get into a comfort zone and realize that you're ok at this size, yet deep down you really want to lose a few more.  However, being in this comfort zone you give in a little more often to what should be occassional treats, and you just can't seem to make yourself behave to lose that last 10 lbs.

Anytime people hear that I'm trying to lose weight they freak out like I'm aiming to be as skinny as an anorexic.  No, but I do want to feel comfortable with my body in my clothes.  And I may be in a healthy weight zone right now but if I don't lose or at least maintain, I'll end up overweight.  I'd rather lose the dreaded last 10 lbs slowly than easily lose the first 10 of a 50 lb journey. 

So for me, I've been going back and forth.  I want to get down to 110 (thus affording me a splurge and weight gain without panic), but ever since I hit 119, I can't stay focused on weight loss.  I got down to 117 one week and this week I'm back up to 120!  BUT I'M SO CLOSE!!!!  I blame it on work.  I blame it on being busy or out of the house.  I blame it on the kids, and when that doesn't work I'll even try blaming it on the cat!  (So stinkin tasty!)  I blame it on the weather because I can't go out and run.  So, I have a treadmill now.  And ear plugs.  And I'm so busy at work I don't have time to munch.  And I quit keeping soda's at home (though the next step is to remove them from Brazoria county).  So why can't I lose the last 10 lbs????  NO FREAKING SELF CONTROL!!!!  So, here's my newest plan:  no soda's (from anywhere) until I lose the last 10 lbs.  At least walk on the treadmill 30 minutes a day until I lose the last 10 lbs.  And no treats such as ice cream and all that fun stuff until I lose THE LAST 10 LBS!

"So are you serene?"

I work as a waitress at a mexican food restaurant, and given that my name is Serenity, one question I get on a daily basis is, "are you serene?" What do you say to that? "Nope, I'm all drama, dude!" Or with arrogance I could always just say "yes". If only these people knew. It's almost hard not to go off on them sometimes. "I woke up at 6 a.m. to a 3 year old knocking at his bedroom door, thus waking his 1 year old brother, thus making the mere IDEA of going back to sleep a total impossibility, then I changed dirty diapers, broke up sibling rivalries that rival any world war, washed 6 loads of laundry (only 6 more to go, yay!), played "what's that in the baby's mouth" and lost when whatever it was got swallowed. Then as soon as my husband gets home I give him a quick kiss on my way out the door to work where I got asked 5 times if I'm serene! I haven't even gotten a chance to pee in peace today, much less have serenity emanating out from myself. But usually, I just smile and say, "I like to think so, but I'm sure my husband disagrees."

No, my life isn't all that bad. Sometimes the chaos is alot of fun. I'm, as you've probably already guessed, Serenity. I'm 24, I've been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 5 years, and we have 2 little boys. Braeden is 3, Reese is 1. I do stay home with the kids during the day, and work at night after my husband gets home. I also teach the junior high and high school youth girls sunday school class at my church. I enjoy all that I do, but just like anyone, I can get burned out pretty easily. Some days I'm just down feeling like all I ever do is stay home with the kids or go to work. I complain alot about being tired and stressed (and rightly so if you ask me) but I do see the blessings and beauty that my family is. It's all a gift from God. He planned everything perfectly. I can't imagine a better man for me than the one God's given me, and we do have the cutest, silliest little boys in the world. We're trying to raise them up to be responsible people and love God so it's important that I try to be as serene as possible. That only comes from trusting in God and being aware and thankful of his blessings.

My sister in law started a blog similar to this today. Call me a copy cat if you'd like, but I'd like to refer to it as inspiration. I've always wanted to try to blog but didn't want to sound whiny or arrogant, but you know what? I don't really care. This blog is for me to get a chance to write down the good, the bad, and the ugly, and if you wanna hang on for the ride, be my guest! Just know that I go fast, and sometimes it's a bumpy road, on that path to serenity.